Nicole asked me to comment about her post regarding my ex wife not answering her cell phone when we call. At first I told her I wasn’t sure I want to, because there is a lot of pent up anger there and I doubt if airing it out on a blog is the right thing to do. So I sat and thought it about it last night and today I am going to say what I think.

My ex wife was the one who left. There is a lot of skeletons in that closet I will leave untouched and won’t say anything about here, but she made her choices, and they were really not very good ones. I am sure she spends a great deal of time regretting her decisions. But that isn’t what I wanted to talk about.

Nic offered up her rant yesterday about how my ex never answers the phone when we call, nor does she ever call back to speak to me. All of our dealings seem to go through Nicole which is silly. I have never been ugly to her and I won’t lie, there are definitely ill feelings. I’m cordial, I talk nicely about her in front of the kids, everything I should do to “foster a happy relationship between both parents”.

So why does she feel the need to run everything through Nicole? I will call her, leave a message telling her what I would like to know and she will either deliberately call back when she knows I am not here or she will call directly on Nicole’s cell phone rather than mine or the home phone.

Her other favorite method of communication seems to be email, which I admit I am not good about checking. I have other things I am doing and checking for emails is not one of them. I don’t email with too many people and she knows this. So why does she do this?

I have thought about confronting her a few times, but I am thinking that isn’t going to solve anything. So anyone have any answers as to why they think she might be doing that? Guilt maybe?

The SHE I am referring to, would be Mike’s ex. I don’t understand why she never answers when either of us call.

Now, background info: Usually, she will call me back - even when Mike calls her. It was amusing for awhile, but now it’s just plain annoying. She isn’t my ex.

I called her this morning to find out if she was taking the girls the entire weekend. Before about a month ago, she was taking them every other Friday to Saturday evening, and Monday’s and Tuesday’s from 6-9pm. Then she moved pretty far away.

So, she dropped her Monday. Takes them Tuesday’s but they usually come home after an hour because there is nothing to do except eat dinner and she doesn’t have a place nearby to take them “home” to. So two weekends ago, she asked if she could change to the entire weekend for that weekend. We agreed, because she had dropped Monday’s and technically, per divorce decree and child custody agreement, she should be having them the entire weekend. She just wasn’t excercising that. Whatever works.

So my oldest STBSD (soon-to-be-step-daughter) asks if mom is taking them the entire weekend. So I thought, wow I hadn’t even considered that she wasn’t, to be honest. So I called her to verify. As usual, got the voicemail. Left message and waited. Well, now she has already picked them up, and never called me back. She was indeed keeping them the whole weekend, but it’s still annoying that somewhere in the past seven hours since I called her, she couldn’t find 60 seconds to call me back and just say yes, so we could be sure to pack accordingly. *sigh*

Anyone else have problems like this?

Interestingly, this is not a problem I have with my ex. When we talk, we deal with each other. I don’t go through his current wife, nor does he go through Mike. And, when I call him, he calls me back if he doesn’t answer, which isn’t often. And when he calls me, I either answer or I call him back. Either way, it’s just not an issue for us.  Not that we don’t have issues - we have TONS. Just not that one. LOL

Well, we wound up doing a whole lot of nothing the night mentioned in this post. And I have been MIA on this blog for a couple of days, and I apologize.

I have a huge post to write about issues surrounding ex’s and pre-teens and more. But I’m not awake enough to concentrate, so I will post it later today.

I’m still reading Summer Breeze, and so far it’s really good. It is certainly not what I first expected. I think you will sincerely enjoy it, and I’m still positive I will read the first one, but my library doesn’t have it. It will probably be much harder to wait for the third installment in the series. Very talented writers.

Oh, and a final word. Blended Families are exhausting. But so well worth it. Just thought I’d make you think.

What’s a mom to do when all three of her step-kids go to their mom’s for the evening, and I am left, the way it was.

Just me, and my two kiddo’s.

Hardly a week goes by where one doesn’t stay home, but this time, they all went. It’s actually quiet around here. Nobody knows what to do.

It won’t last long.

So what the heck do we do first? What did we do when this used to be the way it was?

Do you have a blog? Is your website exclusively for blended or step families? Do you know of a great site that is not yours, but is full of helpful information and resources? I am currently moving and updating my old resources page. I did not used to include blogs, but with all the great information out there, I’d like to now.

So if you know of any site dealing with any aspect of blended families, step families or step parenting, just leave a comment and I will add it.

Thank you in advance!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

June 21, 2007
Contact: Kathy Carlton Willis, Glass Road Public Relations
(615) 477-3873; Kathy@glassroadpr.com

BEST-SELLERS GARY CHAPMAN & CATHERINE PALMER RELEASE Summer Breeze, Second in The Four Seasons Fiction Series

(Nashville, Tenn.) - In book two of this fiction series based on the best-selling nonfiction book The Four Seasons of Marriage, we meet the blended family of Derek and Kim Finley and see the trials and triumphs of a combined household. Luke and Lydia, Kim’s twins from her first marriage, aren’t making blended family life easy. Luke’s recent diabetes diagnosis is getting him lots of attention - and Lydia isn’t taking the slight lightly. To complicate matters, Kim’s meddling mother-in-law comes to visit… indefinitely.

Favorite characters from It Happens Every Spring make an appearance in Summer Breeze, as well as new ones, like the proprietor of the recently opened sandwich shop. When the community loses the one person who brings them all together, they crave the calm only a Summer Breeze can bring.

Chapman and Palmer cover a host of real-life issues in Summer Breeze, including the situations blended families face, childhood diabetes, handling mothers-in-law, dealing with communication breakdowns, sibling rivalry, and a whole lot more.

Catherine Palmer is a graduate of Southwest Baptist University and holds a master’s degree in English from Baylor University. Her first book was published in 1988. Since then she has published more than forty novels, many of them national bestsellers. Catherine has won numerous awards for her writing, including the Christy Award, the highest honor in Christian fiction, and the Romantic Times Career Achievement Award. Total sales of her novels number nearly two million copies.

Dr. Gary Chapman is the well-known author of a series of best sellers, which include The Five Languages of Love, The Five Love Languages of Children, The Five Love Languages for Teenagers, and Your Gift of Love. He is the director of Marriage & Family Life Consultants, Inc. and has counseled married couples and families for more than thirty years. Dr. Chapman is a nationally known speaker on marriage and family relationships and host of the syndicated radio broadcast A Growing Marriage. A complete seminar schedule is available at www.garychapman.org.

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Have you ever noticed that there are not too many really great fiction books with Blended Families playing a big part?

I will admit that more recently, with the expansion of Chick Lit, they are becoming a little more frequent. They still have a long way to go.

With the current statistics for step families, you would think that it would be more prominent, but it’s still a growing genre.

However, recently I was contacted by a marketing director for Glass Road Public Relations. She asked if I would mention a book about to be released on my website. She sent me copies of the books and even sent an extra one, so I could give one away to one of you lucky readers. That contest will be coming soon.

I am currently reading Summer Breeze, by Catherine Palmer and Dr. Gary Chapman. It is the second in a series, and at only the third chapter, I have decided I want to read the first, as well. I will be writing a review at a later date, but for now - I will post the press release tomorrow.