Sometimes I think the whole reason I started this blog was to vent. LOL It really wasn’t. It was originally intended for me to help others going through what I had gone through or was going through. Except now I just like to use it to vent LOL I promise that wasn’t the intention.

So, another situation with the donut and coke eating kid. You know, the teen princess?
It’s 10:15pm right? And she comes to the door of our bedroom directing her entire plea at me. Which while I wish I could be flattered about, and I’m trying to be patient about, I’m the one that gets the most irritated with her and I don’t get why she keeps coming to me. In her daddy’s eyes, she’s perfect. Oh yes blogging friends, she is absolutely the most perfect thirteen year old girl in the whole world and we should seriously consider canonizing her. No - really, we should. At least if you asked her dad, I think he would say. Sadly, my daughter and his other two daughter’s have totally noticed. So has my son. I even blogged about when I wondered How many kids you really had?

Anyway, so she’s now almost in tears telling us she cannot find a worksheet that she has to turn in tomorrow or she’ll get a detention. I find this odd, because most teachers don’t just give detentions to 7th graders for one missed assignment. Especially a very very good student who honestly does her homework regularly and doesn’t get in trouble. She’s usually a great kid.

So now we have to scramble around the house to find this damn thing. Again, I reiterate - it’s 10:15pm.

After 5 minutes of frantic searching in the living room and her bedroom, she decides to look in her book bag. Guess where it was? Yep. So I noticed as she waves it in our face that it is empty. Did you hear me? EMPTY! She didn’t do it yet. That was what she was getting ready to do in her room. She was going to go use a flashlight and do the rest of her homework. *sigh*

Does he get mad at her? Does he say a word to her? No. Nothing. No emotion. No reaction. Nothing. Nada. Silence.

I can assure you that if it was anyone else in this house he would be extremely irritated. Plus, she shares her room with an 8 year old that I quite honestly think should be sound asleep at this point!

I decided not to say a word. The problem is, the tension between us sucks. I’m mad at her. He is oblivious to the whole thing. So I get nowhere. Period. GRRRRRRR…… Step Parenting is just not easy work. Even when I make it sound like its rewarding. It really is just always work. There is never a time where I think it gets easier. New situations arise and you are dealing with something new. I think I’m just gonna go to sleep.

I have come to the conclusion as a parent, you definitely must choose your battles. If you don’t, sometimes it seems as if everything is an argument.
As a step-parent, I tread even lighter.

I am not a health nut, but I do realize the impact that certain foods, additives and sugars can have on children (and adults), and these are the foods I avoid buying. Mike is not quite the same way. He doesn’t really care if he eats pork ribs everyday, with slathered in butter mashed potatoes, with a fat hostess cupcake for dessert. (Don’t get me wrong - I love Hostess, they are just soooo unhealthy and full of crap our bodies have trouble digesting.)

Anyway so when I moved in, it was difficult for awhile. His oldest daughter ate Cocoa Puffs for breakfast every single morning. She told me once that if it wasn’t chocolate she wouldn’t eat if for breakfast. *sigh* She was 11. What kind of life these kids had led prior to my coming along, is extremely obvious at times. Their mother, back when she was with them, made them Bagel Bites and Pizza Rolls for dinner three times a week. Ramen Noodles were the rest of the week. I can honestly tell you his oldest daughter is the pickiest eater I have ever met.

I have spent the better part of the past two years helping them try new things, eat healthier and make better choices regarding the food they put in their mouths. The younger two are doing great (as is my fruit and veggie, salmon and shrimp loving little girl). But the oldest girl, still as picky as always.

About a month ago, I just decided to quit with her. I’m not going to lecture her on food, or push her to try new things that she won’t try. Mostly because it was stressing me out, and if I give that up, perhaps I’ll just learn to co-exist with it.

Her breakfast this morning? A chocolate donut and a coke.

I didn’t cringe…….much.

Thirteen Things Our Blended Family Would Love To Get For Christmas

The funniest part is that none of us put any of these things on our lists, but anyone who actually knows us, would know these things. They are what have either defined us as a blended family (i.e. activities we do together, etc.) or they are things that as a blended family, for obvious reasons would help!

1. Games - Our favorites right now are “In a Pickle”, “Apples to Apples” and “Cranium WhooNu” - any games like that and you have us all sold!
2. A large BBQ pit - Our’s broke, and its honestly on our wish list, but we need one that is bigger than the one that ceased to stop working. With seven of us on a normal basis and when we have friends and family over….oh boy. We have to cook in shifts on the pit. LOL
3. Kids Clothing - We are not picky. The best part is that these kids value the things they receive. So getting things that are hand me downs doesn’t bother them, provided they are still in good shape. The pair of holey jeans someone gave us last year?  Not.so.much.
4. Books and Movies - Our DVD collection continues to grow. But the kids are always happy to get more. You’d think with our mass collection that we never do anything but sit in front of the TV. So, not true. Our kids are very active, we just like to veg at night and watch movies.
5. Camping Stuff - Seems like such an odd request at this time of year, but this blended family adores the great outdoors and camping is one of our favorite activities. We love sleeping in tents, roasting marshmallows, building a campfire, swimming in lakes, fishing, hiking, you name it. So anything that makes camping a bit easier is always a plus.
6. A bigger house. Wait, okay so nobody can actually help us with that but us. We are getting there and are excited!
7. Arts and Craft Supplies - We have FIVE artists in this house. All five of them are amazing. Colored Pencils, Markers, Paper, Kits, Origami papers, Craft books, sketch pads. All are appreciated and I wish you could see the five of them crouching at our enormous coffee table and drawing, sketching and coloring until its time to go to bed each night.
8. Hair Stuff - Four long haired girls (well five if you count me) and you can imagine how many scrunchies, pony tails and headbands we need. And how come pony tail holders always disappear?
9. Snow Stuff - What do I mean? Well, this is one area we have not touched much since we blended our families. They have old sleds that aren’t that great, they fight over the one or two good ones we have, and other than sledding there is absolutely nothing else to do outside. So anything they can do in the snow outside will work. We did start a new tradition last year of sledding on a huge hill nearby our house. Now - we just need to upgrade our sleds. hehe
10. Bike Rack for Our Van - Yeah, well. We’ve had this on our list for a looooong time, and why we don’t just buy one I have no clue. But as a family we LOVE to ride our bikes together. We just want to ride on the Katy Trail and loading seven bikes INSIDE one of our two mini-vans is not as easy at it sounds.
11. More Plates, Bowls, Cups and Silverware (complete with a second dishwasher). This would be a wonderful thing. I swear we run the dishwasher every.single.day. It’s annoying really. Plus we are always running out of plates or bowls or something. We laugh about it, but sometimes I get annoyed.
12. Food -Obviously we don’t really “need” food as a gift, but we are happy to accept donations anytime. Feeding a family of seven is expensive. (I can only imagine what some of my friends with more go through!) So if you have snacks, frozen food or any bulk purchases you’d like to break apart, we are definitely accepting donations
13. A Maid/Nanny/Chauffeur - Does anyone NOT want these?

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How perfect is the title of the new CW show about a blended family? “Life is Wild” - and so it is when you are living within the walls of a blender. However, this show promises great adventure, family relationships, the mixture of drama and adventure. I’m all over it.

The CW premiered their new show on October 7, 2007, “Life is Wild”, which is currently on their Sunday night lineups and most people get to watch it 8/7c (not me, I get to watch stupid Blues Hockey games until 11pm when they finally air it). Anyway, here is the premise of the show from the CW website (slightly altered):

Katie Clarke may never forgive her veterinarian father, Danny for dragging their entire blended family out of New York City to spend a year living in a broken-down lodge called The Blue Antelope on a game reserve deep inside South Africa. In fact, the one area of agreement among Katie, her 11-year-old brother Chase, their rebellious teenage step-brother Jesse and 7-year-old step-sister Mia, is that Danny has lost his mind.

For Danny and his second wife, Jo, however, the reasons for the move are very clear. Once they married and brought their children together under one roof, it soon became obvious that the kids had little in common and the family was drifting apart. In New York, Katie was a good student with close friends and a serious boyfriend. Mature beyond her years, Katie took on even more adult responsibilities when her mother died, helping her younger brother Chase deal with the loss. Jo’s children had to deal with their parents’ divorce after their father went to prison for a white-collar crime. Jesse reacted by cutting school, rebelling against every rule and resenting his mother’s remarriage, while little Mia comforted herself with her obsession with the New York Mets.

While they worried about the family, Danny and Jo had their own demanding careers to deal with. Jo was a sought-after divorce attorney who worked long hours, while Danny’s skills as a vet made him a favorite with wealthy New Yorkers and their pampered, overweight pets. When Danny learned of the urgent need for vets in South Africa, he saw the opportunity for a fresh start and a chance to change all their lives for the better.

Once the family arrives in South Africa, Danny realizes his motivations go beyond his desire to keep his troubled family together while making a difference in the lives of the people and animals of this amazing place. His deceased first wife Claire grew up at The Blue Antelope, and the lodge is still home to her reclusive father Art (David Butler). The Blue Antelope was once a thriving safari business, but after the loss of his daughter, Art let the lodge slip into disrepair. Now that Danny has arrived with Art’s grandchildren and a new family, Art may finally find a reason to get his life back on track.

The adjustment to this strange land is difficult for Jo and the children, but not for Danny. He’s instantly at home working with the locals to vaccinate their cattle, and using his skills to heal wounded wild animals as well - in their first few days in South Africa, the family encounters an injured lioness, a lost cub and a gentle giraffe.

Katie and Jesse spend the first days in Africa resenting the upheaval of their lives and feeling completely out of place. Things begin to change when they meet a few of the locals, including a handsome and somewhat reckless young Brit, Oliver Banks, and Tumelo, who dreams of becoming a veterinarian, against the wishes of his doctor father. Katie is intrigued by both boys - one British and one South African - and by their knowledge of local customs and culture. Meanwhile, Jesse can’t help but notice Oliver’s sultry twin sister Emily, as well as a beautiful, mysterious young woman named Mbali, a singer/bartender at a local hangout called Ant’s Hill.

While they are definitely strangers in a strange land with a lot to learn about their new home, Katie, Jesse and the rest of the family are nevertheless beginning to love the breathtaking vistas of the bush country, the wild animals and the vibrant culture enveloping them. A year in this strange but beautiful place might not be so bad after all.

If you have missed any of the episodes, you can watch them full-length, here.

It’s time to put the decorations up, and get our Christmas spirit going again. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a blended family at Christmas? Well, let me rephrase that, a large blended family. While there are dozens of other reasons why it is difficult, and I will delve into those on other posts, this particular post is about decorations.

We pulled out all the Christmas stuff, and began to put all the things up on the tree. Inside boxes I came across personalized ornaments that the family had done before we merged. *Sigh* With her name on them.

The first part that was frustrating, is that we have been looking at doing a personalized ornament for our family this year. For some reason, finding that, took the joy and excitement out of it. I guess I didn’t realize that they had them made too, since I had never made them in my “previous” life. It was just hard, but I think I’m going to put the whole thing on hold for another year or so.

The second part that was frustarting is that I had to wonder why they were in the box with the normal ornaments. Why not remove those and place them in a small box, marking them what they are with the years. If you want to give them to the kids that’s fine. I understand that (though I would not, because I am sure my kids would not want ornaments with their dad and I’s name on it when we’ve been divorced for as long as we have. Who would actually put those on their tree?), but while I understand it, I just think they should have a different place in the house. In a small box, wrapped safely and marked of what they are. Let’s not keep them with the Christmas ornaments.

Seems fair? Your thoughts?