Thirteen Ways To Remind Your Kids You Love Them.

1. Give compliments often. Focus on the positive and not the negative so much. Be sure your kids know you are proud of them often.

2. Pull out the scrapbooks, photo albums and pictures. Sit with your children and look through them. If you want a sweet story, check out this one. A Touching Moment With Scrapbook in Hand.

3. Allow your children more freedom in making their own choices. For younger children, you might offer them a few choices and let them select one. Older children you might allow them to make a choice and see where it takes them. It teaches your children to make good choices, it allows for them to feel just slightly indpendent and in control of their lives, and makes them realize that you respect them.

4. Eat dinner together as a family as often as you can. Take turn sharing stories about the good things and funny things that happened that day. Try to avoid the negative turn of events that might have occured, focus on happy times.

5. Send in a little notes and special treats in their lunches to school. Sometimes I hide little notes in their books and they find them a day or two later. They are always so excited to come home and tell me they found it (even our 13 year old girl).

6. Wear their creations. Display their creations. Hang good tests and homework assignments on the fridge. Wear that tacky, multi colored mismatched bracelet that they made you. Display their art creations where everyone can see. We choose one special art piece at the end of the year and have it framed. It goes on the wall. Yes, our wall is filled with oddly colored, brightly colored pictures, some of which are totally indistinguishable (I have no idea what that purple blob is with yellow and red dots and stripes, but someone made it and it was special to them).

7. Start fresh each day. Don’t reflect on past transgressions. Allow your children to feel like each day is a new day.

8. Hug them whenever you can. Kiss them whenever you can. The old saying “children grow up so fast”, is truer than you might think right now. Teach them affection while reminding them how much you love them.

9. Attend special events at school whenever possible. We have trouble because with five kids its so difficult to attend everything, but we ALWAYS go to anything that is awarding them something, anything that they have worked really hard at (art fair, band concerts, music concerts), and with the holiday parties and other school wide events, we go but we split up our time between classrooms.

10. Don’t point out everytime your child makes a mistake. If they are doing something wrong, try saying “Why don’t you try it this way and see if that helps.” Allow them to decide whether or not they want to try it that way (unless they are in danger of hurting themselves). Showing them new ways to do things is our job as a parent, but allowing them the freedom to decide how they want to do it is also important.

11. Play with your children. Get down on their level and enjoy them. Read to them. Play Barbies or Power Rangers with them. Play a board game. Do a craft with them. Spend time with them. Time is a valuable way that your children will learn that they are loved. They will not remember all the material items you buy, but they will definitely remember the times that you played with them.

12. Bend the rules once in awhile. Surprise them with an elaborate breakfast for dinner, or take them to the park at 7:30pm to play for an hour before bed, allow them to dance and play in the rain, allow them to get muddy once in awhile. Change your rules from time to time to allow it. Be sure and explain to them that it is a special time and that just this once you will bend the rules. This way they don’t expect it.

13. Tell your kids “I love you” at least once a day. Communication is key and always remember that actions do speak louder than words.

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Before I say much of anything, I want to apologize for not being around much lately. Life gets busy, especially at the end of the school year. I am sorry I haven’t been around, but I have been answering emails and comments, so at least I have that in my corner.

I thought I would sneak away on a mini-vacation from the blog, but I found that I missed it. And I thought about it a lot. And that happens whenever I do get time away from my huge parade of kids. How can mom enjoy a vacation when she is constantly worried about what is going on at home, or what so and so is doing, etc.?

Simple. Make it an overnight vacation. Or a weekend vacation. Or heck, even date night might qualify in some aspect as a mini-vacation as I am no longer cleaning, cooking or doing anything else that seems to take up half my life.

Oh, and while I have been gone, we have set up job charts. It’s a wonderful concept and you really should consider it. The work load for me has been reduced by half and it allowed me to be able to pick up another freelance job which I was really wanting.

I will explain the job charts in a post later this month, to give you ideas to implement in your own home.

Again, I apologize for disappearing but life really does get in the way sometimes. I missed you all in blog land and will be back more regular now with summer fast approaching and my days seemingly longer.

Have a terrific Tuesday!

This was a subject I thought might come up at some point, and I am really glad that Nicole asked for my opinion. Living with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) doesn’t just involve the people who have been diagnosed. It goes beyond that into affecting the other family members as well as the entire family dynamics.

I love this woman, and thank the good Lord for that because sometimes she makes me crazy. And what’s worse is that her son, who is medicated has it far worse than she does.

It was difficult at first, because I had never had a son. I had daughters. No experience with boys, nothing. I was coming in blinded. Add to that the fact that he is one of the most hyperactive people I’ve ever met (which isn’t saying much because I don’t have much experience in ADHD either) and he lives in our home … things were definitely interesting for awhile.

But I think they are better now. We have celebrated two years together as an official blended family, and every single day I remind myself to work with patience, work with fairness and work with humor. These three things get me through the parenting snafu’s and even wifely issues much easier than if I was a total block head and ignored everything around me.

Living with ADHD is so difficult. There are days when it is much more obvious that others. Days I wish they would both just sit down and be quiet. On the other hand, they are both seriously creative people, fun to hang out with and spend time with and they both have the ability to make you smile even when you don’t want to.

The best advice I can give you if you are living with someone with ADHD, is to strive to have the most patience humanly possible. Patience always prevails, so get some and use it.

After I saw this on the ADHD Families website, I got to really thinking about ADHD and how it affects family. And it is by no means just a blended family. In fact, ADHD really can affect all types of relationships.

I have it. My son has it. My daughter has it. Nobody in our ‘new’ family has it. It was a blessing to have a man come into my life with extreme patience and understanding. He doesn’t always ‘get me’ but he sure tries. Mine is mostly managed as I am an adult and I find it much easier to fight and control off urges and other impulses than I did as a child. My son’s is horrible, however he is medicated so that helps tremendously. If he misses a does, I am not the only one that notices. He is miserable. (we don’t miss very often at all!) My daughter on the other hand, is NOT medicated and has a much milder case than either my son or I. However, she does have it and she is 10 and she has difficulty controlling her behavior, reading others reactions, sensing when she’s gone to far or thinking ahead very clearly.

How does this affect our blended family? Unfortunately, there are times when the kids will get into arguments, be angry with each other or something equally as irritating because of the action or actions of one of the children who has ADHD. My ADHD affects the family in that I tend to be scatter-brained one minute and the next I seem to be so put together, I believe it confuses the kids a lot. In addition I do tend to be impulsive still, yet I can control it better. Sometimes words tumble out of my mouth though, before thinking it through, and while thankfully for the most part I have never injured anyone with anything I have said, it still causes me problems.

You realize of course, that this is the same in any family dynamic. Whether it be a blended or step family, or a couple living together or a mom, dad and child. ADHD really can be a problem, and it takes special people to learn more about it, try and understand it, and be patient.

Does ADHD affect you in your family dynamic?

I wasn’t going to do another post on this subject, because I seriously thought that it might be too much dealing with one particular thing or subject.

Instead what I realized by the original post, and the comments and emails I have been getting ever since, is that it is a problem that a lot of families face, and it might be helpful to delve into it a bit more.

First, you need to review your situation. You need to look at it from all angles, and be sure that there really is a problem. What I mean is, are you sure that there are children who aren’t getting as much as others? Are you looking at all sides of this? For instance, it might seem as if some of the kids are getting all these gifts from extended family members, but don’t the other kids have extended family members that also might spoil the children?

Are there times when certain children are at home with you, while others are away, and that might be spoiled a little in other ways?

For instance, I tend to do more with my children when the step-kids are visiting their mom every other weekend. We go out for ice cream, sometimes to dinner, we might take in a movie or visit the zoo or something else. While it might not see like a gift, it is special time with my children and the other kids are not involved at that point because they are off with their own mother.

Or does it seem like maybe you cannot do these things with your children, and maybe it is when the step-kids are away - they are the ones being spoiled. Sometimes this cannot be controlled and building a healthy relationship with your own children should be foremost in your mind.

You might be surprised to learn that even just sitting down and reading or doing crafts with your kids will make them happier than getting gifts.
Take a walk, play a game, watch a movie snuggled together (yes even with older kids), etc. You need to teach your children that gifts are not everything, the gift of time and love is far more important than any old monetary thing. Now, with all of that said, it is still difficult for younger children to appreciate that. So I will delve further into that in a future article.

Have a happy day!

Not actually on purpose, but it seems I took a mini-vacation. It was the kids Spring Break and my kids are on year round school, so their Spring Break winds up lasting three whole weeks, although they lost the last week because of snow day make up. Talk about some not so happy kids. I will try and do a bit better about updating, especially realizing how many people out there count on my help.

Also, please understand that what works for us, is not necessarily going to be the saving grace for your family. My family is filled with lots of prayer and faith, which seriously helps. We have our problems just as any blended family or step family has, but we work on it together and it usually makes a big difference.

Blended families take LOADS of patience, and that is something I have found myself working on a lot!

I’ll be back regularly now!

Oh, and if you are in the least bit creative, or like crafty projects, feel free to check out my creative blog.

Brielle I can hardly believe that ten years have passed since they placed you in my arms. I cried, and cried. You were a gift, the answer to my prayers. I had my precious little boy and then, at that moment - I was complete. I had my beautiful baby girl. God has blessed me with you.

You were the first person I ever met that looked like me. That meant more than you could ever understand in your ten little years. But you have become one of my very favorite people in the world.

I have watched you grow and change over the years, and I think you are amazing. I think you have gifts that you yourself are still unaware of. I think you march to the beat of your very own drum, and I admire that. I also think that your dreams are slowly coming true each day that passes as you become more in tuned with the horses and your riding capabilities. You are amazing to watch. I hope that every dream you have will come true.

I love you today and always. You are my angel, my baby, my little girl. But most of all, you’ll always be my twinkie.

Happy 10th Birthday Sweetheart!

I am suddenly re-addicted to photo hunters and I am making a point to do it on all of my blogs. Simply because - it’s fun. And because each of my blogs has a theme which makes it easy to change the photographs to reflect my interests.

One of my favorite words in the world is FREE. Whether in means to get something for free (even though I will be the first to tell you that nothing in life is ever free), or just the simple word which means freedom. I am free. I am free to do what I want, I am free to make my own decisions, etc. I wanted to find a photograph that encompassed the word free. It was harder than I thought. (plus I was determined to find three - one for each blog.

Have you ever jumped on a swing before as an adult. It is so freeing. It feels great. Kids love swings because they feel invincible, free….. I love this pic of my youngest step daughter at the park one evening.

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