Except today, I saw what could really happen and I am terribly disappointed in ‘dad’ for not stepping in even further than he did.

Background: We went to the lake today. It’s only the second time we’ve been this summer, even though we were there practically all summer long last year. The two youngest are really not ’strong’ swimmers, but they can swim. So they love to go out to the dock which stands in about 14′ of water (maybe more). I allow them to go out there so they can jump off, but they HAVE to take some type of flotation device. From noodles to rafts, it’s all made its way to the center of the lake’s swimming area.

Today the two youngest girls (9 and 10) and the middle girl (11) went out to the dock and had been jumping off, swimming back to shallower water, swimming back and jumping off for about a half hour or so - the same stuff they did all summer long last year. They were obviously having great fun. Well, apparently one of the times that my daughter (the older of the two younger ones, but the SMALLER of the two younger ones - she might be 10 but she looks about 6 in size) jumped off, the raft was out a bit further than she had anticipated. Thankfully the middle child was right there to help her and made an attempt to get her. All was fine because they were together, and from the looks of things - there was no intervention needed.

A huge gust of wind came and carried the raft not only quite a bit away from them, but completely on the outside of the swimming area. The youngest one still had her raft, so they all tried to pile on it, while she started telling them to get off. Please remember that they are all in 14′ + of water. (oh and yes there is a lifeguard on duty) She finally pushes my daughter OFF of her raft (yes she had seen the other raft take off and was actually going after it). So my daughter is essentially doggy paddling as fast as she can back to shore (which is not very fast). The middle child decides to try to catch up to the drifting raft, and forgets that my daughter has probably about 25 yards of water to swim through. (yes I was watching all of this, waiting to see if I needed to rescue her). Twice my daughter asked the youngest one if she could get on the raft, and twice she was told no.

The oldest daughter (13 almost 14) was sitting with us up on the beach and her dad tells her “go help Brie, please”. She looks out at the water, and just stays planted right there. Doesn’t move. Doesn’t do a thing. Just sits and stares. He doesn’t say a damn word.

Brie did make it back to shore, completely out of breath and totally in tears without an ounce of help from any of the three girls. A really nice man dove out into the “non-swimming” area and retrieved the run-away raft and brought it back to her and all was well again. I was so mad, so angry I was actually shaking. If that had been one of his kids (he can’t even friggen’ swim!) he would have been absolutely beyond anger if my kids had done what his kids did. The only one who had an ounce of decency to her was the middle daughter. She really did try to help, except she got caught up worrying about the raft and forgot about the child trying to swim back to shore.

I retrieved my son (13, 14 next month) from the other end of the beach and asked him if he would please come swim with her after briefly explaining what had happened. Thankfully, he can be a real brat to his sister, but when push comes to shove, he has a compassion for her that I’m happy to see between siblings. He went and spent over an hour playing with her, letting her jump off his shoulders, sit on his shoulders, and whatever else.

The problem of course, is that it is NOW the next day, and I am still quite angry about the whole thing. Honestly, the middle child feels like crap, because she knew I was mad and she’s that perfect angel that doesn’t want anyone disappointed or mad at her. More than likely she had already realized the error of her ways. BUT - the oldest made no movement to go help - and was never talked to. And the youngest? Oh, what I could say about her. If she had been one of mine - her butt would have been out of the lake and sitting in time out while she watched all the others play. But nope. Not one word was said to her by anyone but me (when I went and met my daughter at the lake edge as she came out) and all I said was “you don’t need to follow her. You want to push a child off a raft or not allow someone to share it? There is no need for you to help now.” (it was in relation to the fact that she was getting out of the water to go stand and wait with my daughter as the guy brought her prized run-away raft back.

The moral to the story? It would have been better for all parties involved to have talked this over. If it had been, even I would have felt better now. I really do get tired of parenting alone.

We are in a year-round school district, and today is the first day of school. It was so hard watching my two youngest still left in elementary school climb aboard that bus and get swallowed up for another year. Summer isn’t over, why are we back in school?

This year I have a 4th grader and a 5th grader. The 5th grade thing is what is the hardest. That’s my baby. My youngest child. I’m not prepared for that tiny little thing to be in 5th grade, and with the knowledge that next year she enters middle school. Which will leave only his youngest at the elementary school by herself. I wonder how that will go.

I hope this school year goes well, and I guess we will just have to make the best of the weekends. Of course, the end of September they will wind up getting out of school for three weeks while the rest of the world is still studying hard. I used to hate cycle breaks, now its the only thing that gets me through the first days of school in the dead of summer.

The coolest part for my daughter Brie, is that she has a teacher we already know. Melissa had him last year and we loved him.

After we found out Brie would have him, we went and found him on Field day last year and snapped a photo:

We did have to go meet Jesse’s teacher. She’s very young (26), beautiful and totally a sweetheart. Brie had her last year at the end of the year for Math, and she liked her.

Both kids are looking forward to a great year and actually seemed excited to be back in the school building again. I cannot believe we are already doing this again. When do you guys all go back? Do you have a Meet the Teacher night at your school?

Meanwhile we were all having the time of our lives camping without our closest friends which actually was fun anyway, but we kept talking about them not being there. LOL Saturday Amy and Eric and Alexis went on a canoe float trip. I didn’t feel up to taking five kids out in canoe’s OR a raft BY MYSELF so we opted to stay back at the site and do “kid-like” stuff. We swam in the river, panned for gems, checked out a cave and eventually returned back to camp to find the remnants of a horrible rain storm. Not cool. For a brief moment I actually considered packing up and leaving when the other three returned to camp. Everything was so wet. Thankfully I had scotch-guarded the tent TWICE before we came, so everything in the tent was perfectly okay. I’m glad we stayed though, because we wound up playing games all night (the favorite was WHOONU which is from the Cranium games and is SO fun for kids and adults).

This morning we woke up to sunshine and a gorgeous day. We packed the rest of the stuff up, and then went down to the river for some pictures, skipping rocks, playing a few games and just hanging out. Oddly I was ready to leave when it was time, I couldn’t wait to get back home and see Mike before he left for work.

It was a great weekend, but next time I want him to come with.

Lots of trips to the pool, games of WII at our friend’s house and bike rides later, I think that the kids are all happy to be together again.

Thankfully camp was loads of fun for everyone, and the other three go the last week of July. Apparently they eat well, have great fun and just get a vacation away from home with memories that last a lifetime. Who can beat that over your summer vacation?

So I get this call yesterday from a number I didn’t recognize. I let the machine get it. I was surprised to hear my son’s voice since he is at camp, but they did tell us they let them call home whenever they want - it is the sponsors choice, and my son’s sponsor rocks!
First thing - I need to tell my son he needs to talk slower. I couldn’t actually get the phone on fast enough before he hung up. So I called right back. No answer. I continued calling for about two hours off and on, because I know the cell phones get bad receptions out there, so I was hoping the sponsor might at least look at his phone and see that some crazy lady had called his phone at least a half dozen times.

Finally my son called back. Now, first off - he was not the one that wanted to go to camp. If he could have sat in his bedroom and read books all summer he’d have been perfectly alright with that. Yeah. Not happening on my watch. So off to camp he went. I am happy to report that his teenage self is doing great and he is having fun. He actually has a couple of friends he is hanging with, and that in itself makes me smile and know I made the right choice.

However, he was calling with a mission. He got hit in the nose/eye/somewhere up there with a water balloon hard enough that it caused a bloody nose and his eye looks all red and puffy. Camp nurse informed him that he might end up with a black eye. I’m thinking probably not, but I’m glad they encouraged him to call home to tell me just so that I do know. Anyway, he was fine and was really talkative (which means he is having fun) and seems happy.

Guess what they ate for dinner last night? Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and spice cake. WHAT?!?!?! They ate better than us! I’m jealous. I asked how my step-daughter was making out there, but he said she’s ignoring him. Ahhh…sibling happiness. Just gotta love it. So I am assuming she is just fine, and I know he is just fine, so life is uhm….. almost normal.

Only three more days and they are back. Why couldn’t sleep away camp be longer than six days five nights? Why?!?!

We began doing things as a big group. It was fun and exciting. She introduced us to new places to go and things to see, she introduced us to new restaurants and her home-cooking is no match for anything I had experienced before. She is MUCH better.

Another first just occurred today. And on Father’s Day no less.

Today I sent my oldest daughter off to her first time at summer sleepover camp. It is only for one week, but I have been so worried about it. She is thirteen so it isn’t like she shouldn’t go. In fact, it is really a shame I haven’t done this before. She has been so excited.

Nicole found the kids a church camp to go to for a week. All five kids will get to go for one week this summer, but the teens left today. Not knowing what to expect I think was the hardest. Also not being the one in charge or in control of all that was going on, was difficult too. Sure, I can happily hand over the check and go on my way, but that’s my daughter you’re putting in camp. Who’s she going to be with? Are there boys? Will they be supervised? Will she eat camp food? Will she be too hot, will she make new friends? There were so many things to think about, and in the end I handed over that check.

And so we took them this morning, and all day long I have been thinking of them. Both of them. Her son, my daughter. Are they okay? Did the bus arrive alright? Are they safe? Have they met anyone yet? Are they fed? Are they sleeping yet or are they lying there awake thinking of home?

I had no idea how hard some first could be.

My step-daughter was funny this morning. She told me that she had a dream that we couldn’t get her to camp and she didn’t go, and she woke up halfway crying because she has been so excited to go. Totally the opposite of my son who would have rather stayed home, but was kinda made to go. They are both 13 in case you are wondering. And yes, it’s sleepaway.

Oh! Bit of advice - if you are taking your children to drop them off somewhere you’ve never been for them to leave on a bus to go to a camp you’ve never been, that is a few hours away from your town and you decide to leave the house at 9am because they are supposed to be there at 10am, and it takes about 40 minutes to get to the destination you need to drop them off at because that is what the camp sponsor told you. And you are relying on Yahoo maps to get you there because again, you’ve never been to this church before and it’s supposed to be 40 minutes away. Don’t. Seriously. Do not (I repeat, DO NOT) rely on Yahoo Maps. We wound up 45 minutes East of where we needed to be! In fact, we wound up right where my son went to 5th grade camp several years ago. Yeesh!

We arrived at the church at 11:08am. An hour and 8 minutes after they asked us to be there. All the while of this agonizing 2 hours of horror, I am calling all four phone numbers that they gave me to call, and NOBODY is answering any of them - people why do you have a cell phone if you won’t answer it! I had to stop at this tiny gas station in the smallest po-dunk town, and lemme just tell you - these people were absolutely sweet!!

They enlisted customers, 411 information, and they used what little information I was able to give to them and a very old, incomplete map hanging on the back wall to piece together enough information to get us there. I left that gas station at 10:52am.

We were literally praising God when we arrived at the church and the bus was still there. So, the two kids are gone and it’s actually pretty quiet around here with only three. But we did take full advantage of the rest of the day and went fishing (caught nothing), had a campfire, ate a dinner that the other two picky eaters won’t eat, and enjoyed root beer floats to round out the whole day.

I’m actually exausted. Now I’m sippin’ a Strawberry Margarita (which I don’t do often) and am about to hit the hay! Catch ya later!

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads!

Thirteen Ways To Remind Your Kids You Love Them.

1. Give compliments often. Focus on the positive and not the negative so much. Be sure your kids know you are proud of them often.

2. Pull out the scrapbooks, photo albums and pictures. Sit with your children and look through them. If you want a sweet story, check out this one. A Touching Moment With Scrapbook in Hand.

3. Allow your children more freedom in making their own choices. For younger children, you might offer them a few choices and let them select one. Older children you might allow them to make a choice and see where it takes them. It teaches your children to make good choices, it allows for them to feel just slightly indpendent and in control of their lives, and makes them realize that you respect them.

4. Eat dinner together as a family as often as you can. Take turn sharing stories about the good things and funny things that happened that day. Try to avoid the negative turn of events that might have occured, focus on happy times.

5. Send in a little notes and special treats in their lunches to school. Sometimes I hide little notes in their books and they find them a day or two later. They are always so excited to come home and tell me they found it (even our 13 year old girl).

6. Wear their creations. Display their creations. Hang good tests and homework assignments on the fridge. Wear that tacky, multi colored mismatched bracelet that they made you. Display their art creations where everyone can see. We choose one special art piece at the end of the year and have it framed. It goes on the wall. Yes, our wall is filled with oddly colored, brightly colored pictures, some of which are totally indistinguishable (I have no idea what that purple blob is with yellow and red dots and stripes, but someone made it and it was special to them).

7. Start fresh each day. Don’t reflect on past transgressions. Allow your children to feel like each day is a new day.

8. Hug them whenever you can. Kiss them whenever you can. The old saying “children grow up so fast”, is truer than you might think right now. Teach them affection while reminding them how much you love them.

9. Attend special events at school whenever possible. We have trouble because with five kids its so difficult to attend everything, but we ALWAYS go to anything that is awarding them something, anything that they have worked really hard at (art fair, band concerts, music concerts), and with the holiday parties and other school wide events, we go but we split up our time between classrooms.

10. Don’t point out everytime your child makes a mistake. If they are doing something wrong, try saying “Why don’t you try it this way and see if that helps.” Allow them to decide whether or not they want to try it that way (unless they are in danger of hurting themselves). Showing them new ways to do things is our job as a parent, but allowing them the freedom to decide how they want to do it is also important.

11. Play with your children. Get down on their level and enjoy them. Read to them. Play Barbies or Power Rangers with them. Play a board game. Do a craft with them. Spend time with them. Time is a valuable way that your children will learn that they are loved. They will not remember all the material items you buy, but they will definitely remember the times that you played with them.

12. Bend the rules once in awhile. Surprise them with an elaborate breakfast for dinner, or take them to the park at 7:30pm to play for an hour before bed, allow them to dance and play in the rain, allow them to get muddy once in awhile. Change your rules from time to time to allow it. Be sure and explain to them that it is a special time and that just this once you will bend the rules. This way they don’t expect it.

13. Tell your kids “I love you” at least once a day. Communication is key and always remember that actions do speak louder than words.

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I thought I would sneak away on a mini-vacation from the blog, but I found that I missed it. And I thought about it a lot. And that happens whenever I do get time away from my huge parade of kids. How can mom enjoy a vacation when she is constantly worried about what is going on at home, or what so and so is doing, etc.?

Simple. Make it an overnight vacation. Or a weekend vacation. Or heck, even date night might qualify in some aspect as a mini-vacation as I am no longer cleaning, cooking or doing anything else that seems to take up half my life.

Oh, and while I have been gone, we have set up job charts. It’s a wonderful concept and you really should consider it. The work load for me has been reduced by half and it allowed me to be able to pick up another freelance job which I was really wanting.

I will explain the job charts in a post later this month, to give you ideas to implement in your own home.

Again, I apologize for disappearing but life really does get in the way sometimes. I missed you all in blog land and will be back more regular now with summer fast approaching and my days seemingly longer.

Have a terrific Tuesday!