Have you ever read about birth order?
I did about a year ago in a blended families book I picked up from the library. To date, it might be the most informative, and helpful book I’ve ever read. (the one that made the biggest impact on my life)
It actually helped me to understand the dynamics that were occuring in our newly formed family.
As separate families, Mike has an oldest, a middle and a youngest. They are all girls.
I have an oldest and a youngest. My oldest is a boy, and my youngest is a girl.
Blended, it’s a bit more complicated. Vanessa and Ryan went to Kindergarten together, and are a month apart in age. They are both twelve. When blended, Ryan remained the same - as the oldest. Vanessa, although remaining the oldest girl, actually took a step down in the “birth order” range, with Ryan older than her. They compete often for that top spot. It’s gotten better, but it’s not where it needs to be just yet. Thankfully they have been friends since Kindergarten, so they share many of the same interests and also have different sets of friends, eliminating the need to always be in competition. This helps.
Then we move to Mike’s middle child. She has remained the middle child. Nothing changed for her, and she was the most adjusted. In fact, she’s happier now than she was a year ago. Major changes, but all for the better, and she accepted her role as a continued middle child with grace. She fits the entire picture of the typical middle child too. Good and bad.
Then we move to my daughter, my youngest - Brielle. And Mike’s youngest daughter, his youngest child - Jessica. Jessica remained the youngest when we blended. The baby of her former family, as well as her current. My daughter, truly the baby of our family in every way, shape and form, did not. This has been a struggle for her, since she is still the smallest in the family. She’s very tiny by nature, and Jessica has already grown taller than her, and wears bigger sizes of clothing. Jessica and Brielle however, couldn’t be closer.
Interestingly, the two that have the most problems are Vanessa and Brielle. The two that changed places in their original birth order. Go figure.
May 28th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
This is totally like our family. It was cool to read about. thanks for sharing it.